Okay so here is a little more on me. I’ve gone into my past a little and now I’m going to go a little deeper.
First off I seem to have this reputation of being miserable or pissed of all the time, well nothing could be farther from the truth. I’m just not the person who walks around smiling all the time; in fact I rarely show much expression either way. I’ve been told many times by many people they can never tell my mood by looking at me, well that doesn’t mean I’m not happy so why is that what’s always assumed. I also don’t get super excited easily; I usually keep my emotions in check, and I’ve been questioned on several occasions on how I deal with the death of people close to me. Well let me give you a little back ground on this subject.
I’ve mentioned in past blogs that my father died in a motorcycle accident (yes I ride a motorcycle) when I was 5 years old. Well what I haven’t touched on yet is that by the time I was 7 my grandmother and grandfather on my father’s side and my great uncle (who was also my godfather and also on my father’s side) all died as well.
I grew up on Walnut St. Lodi, NJ. Walnut St. was a small dead end street that borders the Boys club property. My family owned the south side of the street, yes all the land on the south side of the street. We had 2 houses, the house my grandparents lived in and the house we lived in. Needless to say being so close; we were a close family. Although I was a little afraid of my grandfather; me and my grandmother were inseparable. And Uncle Tony, well he lived on the second floor of our house. I was always pretty close with him and when my father died he stepped up.
Then within a 3 or so year period all 4 were gone. That’s a lot for anyone to handle let alone a little kid. During this period I started having bad dreams and was afraid to sleep alone. The biggest problem was every time my mother went some place without me I would break down and lose control. I took quite a few years for me to be able to sleep in my own bed and let my mother go out without me.
Let’s fast forward a lot of years to Tuesday October 28, 2008 at 5:50pm. While getting ready to teach a martial arts class my cell phone rang. That call was from my hysterically crying sister, my mother died. I told Justin who offered to teach the class for me but I chose to teach the class myself. It was one of the best classes I ever taught. By the end of the class all my students knew I had just lost my mother and offered their condolences and some wondered how I was able to teach that class.
My mother was sick for a long time, I drove to Florida at least 5 times to say goodbye and she pulled through each time. I guess when she finally went I was fully prepared and somewhat relieved her suffering was over. I’m not really sure.
That’s all for now but this story is far from over. I’ll be letting you in on a lot, probably more that I should, but it’s all coming out. I’ll be bouncing around a lot in this story, and I’ll be leaving you hanging a lot as well but I promise there won’t be any Soprano’s type Bull Shit endings. The answers to any questions that may arise will eventually come out.
Stay Tuned… This is going get interesting…